It's ok to stop reading.

The last book I read in its entirety, like, the last book I connected with  and thoroughly enjoyed was Michael Gungor's "The Crowd. The Critic & The Muse"

This was in the year 2012..... maybe 2011. but probably 2012.

[.Just what the blog needs: more pictures of me.]

That book was so good and so world changing that it literally turned me off of reading altogether.

and I love to read, so that's kind of a big deal... Me not reading a single book for a full year.

but I didn't stay away for THAT long, I tried to get back into reading because as we are always told, "reading is the most important thing". but also, I like to read.

what I found however, was that books, for me, became a gauge of perfection. It was no longer about my love for exploration and adventure, it became about compensating for not going to college and not having the I-didn't-go-to-college-but-look-at-how-awesome-my-life-turned-out experience. It became about trying to be perfect.

I'd read a book and pick myself apart until whatever presented issue was fixed, because I always thought perfection without flaw was possible... that as long as I knew better I could be better; and if it wasn't a case of knowing better, there was always a lessons to be learned. Mistakes were only made out of ignorance and as long as kept my head in a book, I wouldn't be ignorant.

but I call BullSh*T...

I am learning, that there is not a rhyme or a reason for everything. There isn't always a lesson.
I need not be so hard on myself, I am a human woman full of glorious flaws and no amount of education and learning will fix that. knowing and being "better" will not compensate for my lack of formal education... i don't need a compensation for not going to college.
Being perfect, not making mistakes because I know better, is not possible.

I don't need to be Fixed.

I am ok.

Books and reading should be fun. They should be about exploring and expanding; they should be about stories and experiences.

and until they become that for me again, I am ok with admitting

I don't read.


Namaste.


p.s. I have been enjoying a good celebrity auto biographical book every now and then. My current read is Amy Poehler's Yes Please. She is a fantastic Smart Girl at the Party.